Parent’s White Lies

These “White Lie” Secrets can be endearing, funny, and occasionally harsh. They are shared within a family and although they may originate from any member, nine times out of ten, they come from dad.

Over the years I’ve learned that these tales can survive for decades, long after the person who originally told them has died. They can become cherished family stories passed down to future generations like heirlooms.

Dad’s little white lies

“My dad used to say that inside of the car’s airbags was uncooked popcorn. When you wrecked the popcorn would pop and you would have a snack until help came.

“When I was little, my dad told me ATMs worked by having little monkeys inside them. I believed that for years. Now I work in a bank, and wish it were true!

“My dad told me that toys grew under the weeds in the yard, and if I pulled them up eventually a toy would pop out.

“When I was a kid my dad told me that the same way Santa comes down the chimney for Christmas, the Easter bunny comes up out of the toilet for Easter.

“My dad told me that because of my name birds flew in a ‘V’ formation for me. He passed away 8 years ago and I think of him every time I see birds flying like that.

“My dad used to tell me that avocados were alligator eggs.

“I told my daughter that the ice cream truck only played music when it was out of ice cream.

“After a rain, my dad would take me for walks looking for pennies that sometimes fell from the sky. I was so excited when I found one. Eventually, I saw him drop one for me to find. I never told him I knew that it wasn’t true because I loved the walks we’d take after the rain.

“My grandfather was a painter and he died when I was young. My mom told me God had him come up to heaven to paint the sunsets. I still think of that every time I see a beautiful sunset.

“My dad told me the worst swear word you could possibly say was “Bostonian”. It meant “someone who has no private parts.” My brother and I used the word until we were teenagers and my father giggled every time we said it, right before he sent us to our rooms.

“When i was little my dad told me that polyester was a small animal in Australia and they would kill it to make clothes. That night I sat in my room reading the labels on my clothes for hours and threw all of the polyester ones away.

“When we’d approach exits or toll booths, my father told me the sound the car made when it went over the rumble strips was the car getting angry because I had been bad. I still sit up a little straighter when I hit a rumble strip.

“When I was a little girl, my dad would take his ladder and put it on the lawn every night, and bring me outside to tell me he’d put the moon up for me. He passed away a few years ago, and every night when I see the moon, I think of him.

“My grandfather was a painter and he died when I was young. My mom told me God had him come up to heaven to paint the sunsets. I still think of that every time I see a beautiful sunset.

“My dad told me the worst swear word you could possibly say was “Bostonian”. It meant “someone who has no private parts.” My brother and I used the word until we were teenagers and my father giggled every time we said it, right before he sent us to our rooms.

“When i was little my dad told me that polyester was a small animal in Australia and they would kill it to make clothes. That night I sat in my room reading the labels on my clothes for hours and threw all of the polyester ones away.

“When we’d approach exits or toll booths, my father told me the sound the car made when it went over the rumble strips was the car getting angry because I had been bad. I still sit up a little straighter when I hit a rumble strip.

“When I was a little girl, my dad would take his ladder and put it on the lawn every night, and bring me outside to tell me he’d put the moon up for me. He passed away a few years ago, and every night when I see the moon, I think of him.

White lies siblings tell each other

“My sister told me there was a monster in the garbage disposal that my parents had to feed so it wouldn’t eat us.

“My brother told me the bigger the wasp, the more you had to add “sp” to the end. So for a very big wasp it was a “waspspspsp.” I sounded like an idiot to people for years.

“I convinced my little sister that if I pressed the “diet” button on top of her plastic McDonald’s cup lid, it would actually change her soda to diet. She cried every time I did it to her.